Suck my ass!
~ Please god no!

Cherylyn Joy Barnes (née Noyce) is an illiterate, overweight, Australian grandma who runs a Youtube channel where she mainly uploads videos demonstrating her musical "talent" or vlogs that detail her getting into arguments/physical confrontations. Her most notable online contribution is when she released a song about her moist vagina, because people apparently want to hear about that for some reason.

Cherylyn believes she's very talented, attractive and often plays the victim. She is also a practitioner of Wicca and has placed black magic curses on people she deems evil. Despite her delusions of grandaur and being the most hideous person on Earth, Cherylyn has picked up a small yet loyal following who insist that she's a great singer and a great beauty.


Early Life 

Cherylyn was born on December 4th, 1955, in the Camden Hospital, NSW Australia to teaching assistant Elsa Noyce. Cherylyn came about due to Elsa having an affair with John, despite already being married to a mine worker named Rob. Elsa convinced Rob that he was the biological father up until Cherylyn's birth who had no physical resemblance to Rob. Elsa then raised Cherylyn as a single mother.

Elsa started sleeping with different men every week, resulting in her getting pregnant with a second child that died at birth (which she named "Rose"). Elsa became very depressed which caused Cherylyn to endure a difficult upbringing. On one occasion Cherylyn upset her mother by eating some of the chocolate cake she prepared. As punishment for eating the cake and lying about it, Elsa proceeded to beat Cherylyn with a kettle cord until her aunt Barbara intervened and a took custody of Cherylyn for a period of time while her mother was charged with grievous bodily harm.

When Cherylyn was a teenager, her mother was involved with an Italian man named Nino. Cherylyn noticed that Nino watched her while she undressed. She was too scared to say anything until she caught him masturbating one time. Cherylyn told her mother who slapped her in the face in response and accused her of just wanting to ruin her happiness. Nino attempted to fix things by giving Cherylyn a pink bikini bra and a pair of jeans. However, it turned out these very clothes were owned by a missing girl named Shirly, who - thanks to Cherylyn - was found. It turned out that Nino was a psychopath who actually kidnapped the girl, took her to an abandoned house, locked her in a cage, shaved off all of her hair and fed her dog food.

Years later, Elsa killed herself. She blamed Cherylyn for her losing her husband, getting Nino arrested and claimed she was the baby that should have died. Elsa then fell backward onto the stairs and broke her neck.

Love Life and Marriage

Cherylyn lost her virginity at the age of fourteen when she snuck out to go to a New Years Eve party at the house of a boy named Ricky. As they sat on his roof to watch the fireworks, they started to make love. However, it ended when she realized she cut her ass on a loose nail. They soon consummated the relationship properly sometime later.

At her mother's funeral, Cherylyn met Graham who she had a five-year relationship with. The relationship ended when Graham suggested they have a drive through Perth. Cherylyn was upset that Graham refused to take her to a hotel, suggesting they live in his car, and left without her. To cheer Cherylyn up, her friends took her to the 21st birthday of one of their younger brother's friends. At the party, the 26 year old Cherylyn met the 17 year old Terry Barnes. They ended up spending the night together after some heavy drinking. Weeks later, Cherylyn discovered she was pregnant with Terry's child. Graham offered to stay with her and raise the child as if it was his own, but Cherylyn decided to end the relationship.

Cherylyn started dating Terry and they announced their relationship to his family on his 18th birthday. Cherylyn then revealed that she's carrying his child in response to his mother's rudeness. She demanded Cherylyn take a paternity test and kicked Terry out of her house. When Terry moved in with Cherylyn in her caravan, Cherylyn forced him to chose between her or his family. As Terry moved his stuff out of the house, Cherylyn made him say to his family "Yous can all get fucked. Yous are all dead to me. I don't wanna know you. If you have any big special news, I don't wanna know." Years later, Terry was contacted by his brother Jeff who informed him of his mother's death. Terry was meant to help carry the coffin into the chapel along with his brothers, but Cherylyn forbid him from going. Weeks later, Jeff made a phone call to Cherylyn saying she manipulated him. Cherylyn convinced Terry that they should go somewhere special the day of the funeral instead. For insulting her, Cherylyn told Terry to confront Jeff and beat him up, which he did. This brought Cherylyn and Terry even closer.

Cherylyn gave birth to Desiree, who had her own child Sharika in 2007. Sharika is currently in foster care.

Vs Leafy

Cherylyn came to Leafy's attention when he saw her most recent film clip "MOIST" which he criticised . Cherylyn took it as a personal insult when Leafy fans allegedly confronted her in real life and sprayed a bottle of coke at her. As punishment for unleashing his fans at her, Cherylyn proceeded to cast a black magic spell on Leafy, because it was so successful the last time someone put a curse on him. Leafy responded to her spell and also responded to another song of hers called "Gay Guys" .



Some people kill themselves everyday.
~ Cherylyn's wisdom.
If there's one thing I hate being called, it's "slut"
~ fucken slut.
Leafy, your wickedness. My goddess can see, and now it's time for you to pay times three.
~ Performing a hex on Leafy



Upset that her teeth look like the Cartoon Network logo.

  • She hates being called a slut, despite acting like one
  • Her dentist assures her that her teeth are perfectly fine.
  • Cherlyn's favourite pass time while young was slicing cucumber with his asshole and using the slices for sandwiches.
  • She wears cat ears a lot. 
  • She hates dogs.
  • She has leaked nudes of herself.
  • She called Jacob Sartorius sexy, which strongly implies that she's a pedophile.
  • She refers to Trisha Paytas as a "chubby barbie".
  • She has two holes in her heart, a heart murmur, asthma and is color blind.
  • She owns her own Apple game called Angle Wings.
  • She thinks breast-feeding in public is slutty. 
  • She believes she's related to singer Jimmy Barnes through her husband Terry who claims to be his cousin, even though his real name is James Dixon Swan. Fucking degenerate.
  • Even though she is very popular among gay guys, she once made a video against same-sex marriage.

External links

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.